Sora's Incompetence
by Allers3
Summary: Sora and Roxas are left home alone with their little sister, Xion. Roxas usually takes care of her, but he's fed up with Sora's laziness. What will happen when Sora tries to do his brother's job? T for language.


**Random thing me and triggerhappy44 thought of in English class. xD **

**I don't own KH, the characters, Barbie, Ken, or Alphabet Soup. Only the plot is mine. Sort of.**

Two teenaged boys stood just outside the door to their house, waving goodbye to their parents.

"Goodnight, boys! Take care of your sister!" their mother called before climbing into the passenger side of the car. Their father sat in the driver's seat, waiting until his wife was safely inside before pulling out of the driveway.

Once the vehicle was out of sight, both boys headed back inside the house. The younger one- a blond- closed and locked the front door behind them. Once inside, he immediately headed towards his room.

"Roxas, wait!" The older boy, a spiky-headed brunette, grabbed his brother's shoulder, effectively stopping his movement. "Where are you going?"

"To my room, stupid." Roxas rolled his cerulean blue eyes.

"Didn't you hear mom? 'Take care of your sister'." The brunette scowled at his brother.

"Yeah, I heard her, Sora. So… have fun." Roxas ripped his arm out of his brother's grip and sprinted across the room, up the stairs, and into his room practically before Sora could even blink.

"… Bitch," Sora grumbled. Usually when their parents went out, Roxas was the one who took care of their little sister, Xion. He was the one who actually _knew _about that stuff. Sora, meanwhile, usually laid around the house, ate, and generally did whatever the hell he wanted.

Apparently, tonight wasn't going to be like that.

Sighing, the brunette decided that he'd better find his little sister.

Sora stood outside, staring up at his four-year-old sister. Some way or another, she'd managed to get on the roof.

The freaking _roof._

She sat, looking perfectly content up on the dark shingles, two dolls grasped in her small hands. Ken's face was being repeatedly bashed by Barbie's high heeled shoes. Somehow, Xion had managed to fully understand the concept of violence even at her young age.

So Sora stood on the lawn, scratching the back of his head and wondering how the _hell _she'd gotten up there, and how the _hell _he was going to get her down.

"That… doesn't even make sense," he murmured. After another moment of concentration, Sora decided his only hope was to call for help.

"Roxyyyy!" Sora shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth.

Roxas' bedroom window slowly opened. The blond stuck his head out the window. "Don't call me that!" he shouted, sounding irritated.

"Listen, Roxy-"

"STFU!" Roxas slammed his window shut. He only used the acronym for fear that he'd teach Xion words she shouldn't know.

Xion giggled- presumably at hearing Roxas' voice- and proceeded to throw Barbie, as hard as a four-year-old could, at Sora's head.

The kid had good aim. Her brother just managed to duck under the projectile.

Sora face-palmed. Dragging his hand slowly down his face, he finally looked back up at Xi-

_Where the hell did she go?_

The brunette teenager's jaw dropped. How… What?

Ken was the only proof that she'd ever been there. The doll lay on the roof lacking a head.

That girl was going to be _so _violent when she grew up.

Heading back to the front door, Sora just hoped that he wouldn't find her anywhere worse than the roof.

One could argue that the cabinet in the kitchen wasn't that bad a place for a toddler to be.

Sora, however, could argue that a kitchen cabinet full of poisonous chemicals that came in every colour of the rainbow was, indeed, a _terrible _place for a young child to be found.

"XION! DON'T DRINK THAT!" Sora shouted, moving, faster than he knew he was able, towards the girl. She was giggling and playing with a small bottle of pink cleaning fluid.

The label was mostly made up of various DANGER symbols- Flammable, Do Not Drink, Do Not Touch…

Xion was fiddling with the cap.

Sora finally reached her, closing the distance with an epic knee-slide…

… Only to remember that he was wearing shorts.

"OH SH-" He bit down on his tongue, remembering the toddler in front of him. Tears welled up in his eyes, knees burning from the hardwood burns.

Maybe it was his imagination, but Sora was sure he could hear Roxas laughing upstairs.

Meanwhile, Xion had dropped the now open cleaning chemical, spilling it on the kitchen floor. She smiled widely before running over to Sora. How she managed to avoid slipping in the pink puddle, her brother could not comprehend.

The little girl jumped on him, bubbles of laughter escaping her mouth. Sora shuddered again from the pain he was in before picking Xion up and slowly standing.

"How does Roku do this…?" Sora whispered. Xion's stomach growled, as if responding to his rhetorical question.

"Fine… let's get some supper, 'kay?" Xion smiled at him.

Maybe something would finally go _right._

After deciding that Alphabet Soup was the best thing to make Xion, Sora made sure she was safely in her high chair before starting to make supper.

"Alright… two cups of water… heat for 2-5 minutes… Microwave's okay, right?" Sora muttered directions under his breath as he poured the canned soup into a bowl with the water. He stuck it in the microwave and set the power to HIGH. Turning the little timer dial to 5 minutes, the brunette hit the START button and went back over to Xion, deciding to keep an eye on her.

She looked rather bored. Sora, however, was reluctant to leave, for fear that his sister would get on the roof again.

"Uh… peek-a-boo?" Sora said unenthusiastically.

BOOM.

Xion let out a squeak of fear, covering her eyes with her hands.

"What… now…?" Sora whispered. Slowly, he returned to the kitchen.

The microwave was open.

Alphabet soup was everywhere.

Smoke was emitting from the small appliance.

"Please, no…" Sora groaned.

The fire alarm went off.

Roxas grumbled, irritated. He'd really been on a roll in COD, with a 5 kill streak. The fire alarm, however, demanded that he leave.

He froze at the foot of the stairs. "What… the hell?"

Xion was in her high chair, crying. Sora was sitting in the kitchen, curled up in a ball. The entire room was covered in what looked like alphabet soup. The microwave was smoking.

And to finish the scene, the fire alarm was still blaring in the background.

Sora looked up at Roxas from his spot on the floor. The boy's eyes filled with hope. "Roxas! Please, I-"

He stopped abruptly. Even with the piercing alarm, both boys heard the car pulling into the driveway.

They both heard car doors open and close.

The brothers held their breath when the key turned in the front door.

And Roxas had already disappeared back upstairs by the time their parents rushed in, looking panicked- probably due to the fire alarm.

"Uh… hey, mom, dad." Sora smiled weakly. "Welcome back."

Xion squealed happily and hit her little fists against the table.

**Ahahhaa. This was fun to write. The idea was basically Sora babysitting. **

**Then, I decided that everything that COULD go wrong WOULD go wrong. ;D**

**Poor Sora. xD**

**I was gonna make Roku the main character, but as we all know, he just isn't this incompetent. **

**OH YES. So, the part with the roof and Ken and Barbie and that? Written by Triggerhappy44, re-written by me. :P**


End file.
